jolie laide: Envy on the F Train

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.

3.15.2006

Envy on the F Train

I see her on the subway. She is pretty, not like me.

I think, I always wanted a dimple like that.

Does she think, I always wanted to be that tall?

I admire her shiny straight hair.

Does she likewise covet my long fingers?

I love the green of her eyes.

Does she want the freckles on my shoulders?

How funny to think it.

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