jolie laide

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.


Arranged Marriage
I am puttering around being all nervous. I am nervous enough about marathon training--I keep having morbid fantasies that my hip explodes and with its force I am sent flying through the plate glass gym windows like a helpless rag.

But this nervousness is about selling my little house. I put so much into renovating it, and I swear I am still carrying six pounds of it in my lungs. When she got a top billing on Brownstoner I held my breath against nasty comments. I was counting up how many "first dates" she had. And how many "second dates."

And I realized that if I put this in the context of dating, with all the obstacles, unmet expectations, misalignments and jockeying for position, yeah, of course I am going to be in agony over it.

But then a suitor broke away from the pack. She got asked to meet the parents. And the bride price was settled upon. And now she is engaged. To a doctor, no less! I kvell!


Blogger remue-menage said...

stress - an amplifier of vivid nightmares

good luck with your housewedding

I admire your grit - training for a marathon!? I swim and run stairs - but can't run straight ... the pounding on my joints is agonizing

perhaps there is a space beyond agony - but I haven't found it

11:45 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

I haven't found the space beyond agony yet, although I hear it exists. The hip is holding out so far, at this point it is just a barely rational fear.

House wedding indeed. That is exactly how I think of the next three months of paperwork, arranging and planning it will take to bring the deal to a close. And that is not without it's own stressors, but at least the outcome is relatively assured.

7:41 AM  
Blogger four inches of ego said...

The wife and I are on the other end of the spectrum -- the wedding day for us is nigh. In fact we are attempting to hurry the finalities of paperflow to hasten the wedding day so that we may speed toward the wedding night to be spent with our house-bride for teh first time. You see we are house-virgins -- and the anticipation is nearly unbearable. We also have to move out of our apartemnt by July 1st and we dread the idea of moving everything in the last few days of the month.

But, stay strong, surely your house-child will have a lovely family.

8:21 AM  
Blogger ttractor said...

oh my, I so sympathize. I hate being a buyer in a seller's market, and real estate is so opaque and full of disclosure asymmetries. But, good for you! I hope you are in love with her and that the love is returned in full measure.

My best advice on closing day:
Shut up and sign everything your lawyer puts in front of you (if he's good, he won't make you sign anything that is not in your best interest if it's avoidable); and
Bring a good pen, you will be signing your name so many times you will wish your parents named you Ed. I wish mine did!

11:46 AM  

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