jolie laide: 100 Words on Honesty: Unintentional Revelation

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.

3.24.2006

100 Words on Honesty: Unintentional Revelation

I am trying to get the guy who sits behind me in Russian class to give me his sandwich. He is a soc, doesn’t like me, but I am flirty and persistent, goading him into giving me his lunch.

The teacher, an elderly Holocaust survivor, overhears me, and shrieks horrified, What? Why have you no food? You are hungry? Where are your parents?

And with that she reveals to the entire class the shame I desperately do not want revealed: I am hungry, I have no family, and my provocative bullying is the only tool I know how to use.

3 Comments:

Anonymous dagger aleph said...

Well, this post would strike a chord with me, wouldn't it?

Ouchie.

4:11 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

ah, you did the same thing? I'm sorry.

5:16 PM  
Anonymous dagger aleph said...

No, didn't do the same thing, because shame unfortunately trumps self-preservation for me. I can't survive in a tough environment.

Ouchie, because it's horrible when everybody knows you're poor.

10:09 AM  

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