jolie laide

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.

5.25.2006


I have business to conduct in the still-sketchy part of my neighborhood. My business is legitimate, but there is plenty of other business being conducted, on street corners, snugged up against protected stoops, groups of men working in loose confederations that are opaque to me.

I am blasting music through my head, music that makes me walk with a luxurious slow hip roll, it is warm and gorgeous out, heading into evening. Ahead of me is a bunch of local "businessmen" hanging out and one of them has headphones on too, his head bobbing in the same time as my stride. As I approach he turns to me with a grin, a come on, gesturing for me to dance with him, pelvis aggressively forward.

I smile a little, duck my head, tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, pretend to be shy. But if it were not a seven-on-one situation, weapons surely being held in waistbands and front pockets, and dusk coming on fast, I might accept his invitation. I might slide my fingers through the belt loops of his baggy jeans, draw him to me, pull his leg between my thighs and surprise the hell out of him for a couple of bars, in silence, each of us in our own musical world, our faces close and grinning in concord.

After all, today I am wearing a red dress.

6 Comments:

Blogger remue-menage said...

I love this moment of the imagination that you've captured here ... strangers dancing in the street

it gives me hope

that's what I think you are - a purveyor of hope (in a red dress)

7:10 AM  
Blogger ttractor said...

what are you hoping for?

I have hopes that I am proud of, that have broad shoulders. I have secret hopes that are too pale and frightened for anything but a whisper.

9:54 AM  
Blogger happyindustry said...

your words feel soothing and honest.

thanks

1:30 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

thank you happy squeeze toy head! I posted today's photo thinking about yours. no words yet, or too many, or too disjointed.

2:20 PM  
Blogger remue-menage said...

I'm hoping for transcendence

7:56 PM  
Blogger remue-menage said...

you give me hope for the world - atleast I think you do. are my hopes displaced?

8:09 PM  

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