On the train this morning I am walking through a mental gallery. I am calling this exhibition “Awesome Attempts to Attain the Attention/Affection of ttractor.” This show reveals the curator’s aesthetic in a carefully selected group of works, and the pieces reflect a variety of media.

First up: At the end of fifth grade Billy Rankin giving me his 18k gold electroplated scarab ring from the King Tut show at the Chicago Art Museum. He also names one of his fish after me. He has allergies and these are the only pets he can have.

In high school, a gear head Mopar freak taking me to the municipal rose garden for a little trespassing after dark and al fresco dining. He has tucked pots and pans into his engine, and is cooking dinner as we drive, resulting in a perfectly hot soup for starters and an excellent steak for entrée.

The shy, sweet 22 year old virgin giving me glow in the dark dinosaur stickers, whom I have previously mentioned.

The too-young very blond aspiring writer doing his tremendous Michael Jackson impersonation for me in front of all of my friends, several writers of note, and a bunch of unalloyed people who were completely confused as there was no Michael Jackson music playing.

The tape, back when there were tapes, of him playing the accordion. And that would be joyously goofy enough, but he was playing the Patsy Cline hit “Crazy.” Oh how painfully delightful.

The mix download, because that’s how we do these things now, to honor that most irritating of events, Valentine’s Day. In a tremendous bravado turn, it includes a cut from Alice Cooper. The absolute pink icing rosebud on that cake is that it’s “Feed My Frankenstein.” The curator finds this hilarious.