jolie laide

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.


I keep thinking about calving season. I am thinking about the amazing appearance of life in the particular form of a red calf. What an event, your greeting to life being the earth rising up to hit you as you tumble out of your mother’s trembling hindquarters. Your imperative, which you know absolutely in your bones is to struggle to your feet. You will stretch yourself out after the months of curled confinement, slicked fur finding its way to nubs and swirls. You will lift your head, center your feet and let out the first blaring note of your existence, wondering, angry, insistant.


Blogger VelVerb said...

"your mother's trembling hindquarters"...I must say, having given birth, this evokes many strong feelings, including a little revulsion. I remember that moment, the final push, the relief of it being over, having my body back, and the emptiness at the same time. This child, now born, would never live inside me again.

2:04 AM  
Blogger ttractor said...

oh my. This fills me with such a sense of longing. How odd it all is, how lucky you are.

8:48 PM  
Blogger VelVerb said...

If you would like, I can send my teenagers over to live with you for a month or two. It might cure you of the longing, honest.

11:30 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

I think that teenagerness was specifically designed to make you not miss them so much when they finally enter the world on their own.

3:00 PM  

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