jolie laide: Bee Knuckle

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.


Bee Knuckle

I didn't like her when I met her. She was wild, loud, given to bouts of social impropriety. Later I found it masked her sweetness, her loyalty, her desire to give and be loved.

She was a mis-match of parts, but somehow it all worked together, mostly. People were either attracted by her cobbled-togetherness, or repelled by it's crudeness, visible seams.

I used to lean in, asking for a kiss, knowing I was playing her game of Russian Roulette. Sometimes she would oblige me. Sometimes she would bite me, a square honk on the nose.

Goddam I miss that dog.


Anonymous A. said...

I think she's beautiful.

11:15 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

:) you don't know how that warms my heart! she had a gorgeous glossy chocolate coat over crazy rippling pit bull muscles, the biggest freaking nose ever and over-sized grubbly paws. miss her, miss her, miss her!

11:26 PM  
Blogger Dr. S said...

She is tres, tres jolie. Is this Molly?

11:46 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

ah, no, this is my darling departed pit-bull-beagle Bee Knuckle. Molly Otter is a lab-dalmatian who still lives and breathes in Queens.

10:14 AM  
Anonymous dagger aleph said...

So cute...

2:56 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

dag, I think you would have gotten along with her famously. there was something about her that just made people instinctively greet her by whacking her on the flanks. she might look cute, but she was a chunk of swamp meat.

4:06 PM  

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