jolie laide

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.


Today there are new advertising posters up in my subway station. So I look for the phantom hand of the unknown philosopher, the one who wrote “what do you really want to create with this life” last week, and “welcome to the moment you are currently in” last month.

What I see makes all the tiny hairs on my arms lift up, prickle in thrilling anticipation. It’s the ads for the New York City Marathon in November.

I promised updates on my progress, so, here goes:

1) I did not get a slot in the NYC marathon, something about not being Albanian. Whatever. I am training for the Philly, which is two weeks later, right before Thanksgiving.

2) My hip is actually totally fine. This week my lungs are pronounced clear, for the first time in 10 months. It will be, it is now, a chronic problem, and I am having to re-learn how to breathe and re-train how my heart beats. Which means…

3) I run really slowly now. This Sunday I run 18 miles, and how that feels will determine whether I really can go forward with this crazy thing.

Please do wish me luck. This does, in fact, scare the living daylights out of me.


Blogger slickaphonic said...

I'm sending you a transcendental hug and lots and lots o' luck (I'm part Irish, so that part means something...)

4:04 PM  
Blogger remue-menage said...

I admire your courage - you are physically, spiritually vibrant to a remarkable degree

fortune favors the brave - and you are so very

9:51 PM  
Blogger Dr. S said...

good luck good luck good luck!

I used not to believe in luck, but the older I get, the more I have to allow for it at least somewhat. I hope it gets on the same side as your formidable diligence.

8:29 AM  
Anonymous famjaztique said...

This is good news, wonderful news! Good luck!

5:20 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

thank you! I posted an update, above. In re-reading it, I realize that it sort of makes it sound easy. But each 2 mile chunk takes me a grinding 20-24 minutes to complete.

Dr S, I know you did not mean to damn me with faint praise, but I can't help but laugh a little. As I am not brilliant (like you!) I can only be diligent and tenacious. Thus, I am a tractor.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Shéer plód makes plough down sillion
Shine..." G.M. Hopkins

He's saying that a plough going over a field makes the dirt glitter like diamonds in the sun. Which is to say that brilliance only happens in diligence and tenacity.

Pretty amazing writing for a tractor.

12:34 PM  
Blogger ttractor said...

hey, thanks! that is quite gorgeous. who are you?

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just an admiring reader. (I lurk, therefore I am.) The pictures are nice too.

9:39 AM  
Blogger ttractor said...

please feel welcome, then, and chime in when you like. and thank you, thank you.

10:19 AM  

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