jolie laide

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.


She never made me a promise she couldn't keep. When I first approached her, she lightly slapped me away, and knew that I didn't even know how generous that was. I learned how to watch and pay attention, see how she breathed and how she moved, and for that she rewarded me. She didn't mature me, but she showed me how to grow myself up.

And now I leave Brooklyn. The next weeks are all about getting ready. People say you can always come back, but I don't allow myself that luxury. We've all seen it. You'll go, and you'll stay gone. The gutters and the asphalt and the iron will all move past you, you'll forget where the F and the Q diverge, and you will visit only in movies, misnaming rivers and streetscapes. Yeah, I'll be one of those.


Blogger slickaphonic said...

for more than three months even? I'm biking to San Fran in August...could a ttractor-slick conference be in the future?!?

5:53 AM  
Blogger ttractor said...

yeah, like permanent. holy flying monkeys! the three months were everything I didn't even let myself hope they would be, while also being firmly rooted in reality. So I'm in Brooklyn for three weeks, packing up my entire adult life,

I'd love to host you, take you out for food or whatnot in August! The tiny circus is going to Poland (say wha?) sometime in August, but I'm not sure when.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Dr. S said...

Hey, wow, congratulations!

3:13 PM  
Blogger slickaphonic said...

ah-ee!!! congratulations and see you this summer!

6:11 PM  

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