jolie laide: I'm not sure who to thank for this.

jolie laide

I started this when I lived in Brooklyn and struggled for grace in a city that grants moments of beauty and ugliness breathtakingly close to one another. Now I live in a place where things are a different kind of ugly and the beauty is pedestrian. I struggle with that.

1.31.2010

I'm not sure who to thank for this.

We have a house for you. It's been completely renovated, everything is new. Twenty feet from the front door is the highway. Twenty feet from the back is the railroad tracks. This is where you will raise your children.

The cancer is gone. The months of radiation are over. The surgeries are over too, and you can live your life now. Both of your breasts are gone, flesh and muscle pared away all the way down to your ribcage.

You established your life in this country, started a family, a successful business. Now you can send for your mother, finally give her peace and comfort. A visit to the doctor says your father gave her a case of syphilis before he died over twenty years ago. Now you won't have much time with her at all.

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